The Dangers of Dating
I went on a few dates this past week with some ladyboys that I have written about previously. I could give you all the exciting details, but there are really no major differences from what transpired on the prior encounters. Instead, I would like to write about an event that happened a few days ago and offer some advice about dating ladyboys here in Thailand.
I was sleeping alone in my bed a few nights ago when I was suddenly awoken by loud voices. It took me a few seconds to fully wake up and realize what was going on. There was a fight happening somewhere down the hallway from my room. I got up and made my way over to the door where I listened to the noises and screams for a few seconds. It sounded like someone was getting a severe beating and so I put on a pair of shorts and headed out to see if I could limit the damage.
Luckily, the physical part of the fight had stopped by the time I made it around the corner and the exhausted parties were settling their war with mere words. I stayed clear of them and it was only a minute before one younger Thai man made his way down the hall and out of the building. I have no idea what the problem was, but I would bet that someone had been caught cheating and the young Thai man had come to settle the score.
I went back to my room and struggled to fall asleep. It was just past 4am and I tossed and turned until at least 5. The fight had left me feeling vulnerable and anxious. I date my fair share of girls and I never really know for sure if I might be putting myself in a dangerous situation. I finally decided that I should write about my experience here and that gave me the comfort I needed to fall back asleep.
I have been fortunate to avoid any major battles like the one I witnessed this week, but I have had a couple minor confrontations that I can share with you. The first one occurred with a very attractive ladyboy named K that I had been seeing for a few months. She would come over to my place about once a week and we would have some fun together. I really liked being with K, but I never realized how seriously she was taking our relationship.
One evening K made her way across town to visit me and I was happy to see her waiting for me downstairs. We said hello and made our way up to my room. I went to lie down on the bed while K entered the bathroom to freshen up. I was resting peacefully until I heard a shout of anger from the other room. K came storming out with a dirty tissue and torn condom wrapper in her hand. Apparently she had been rummaging through my garbage and managed to find some incriminating evidence.
I showed no surprise on my face and asked her what the problem was. Her only answer was to slap me across the face. I immediately grabbed her and told her to get her stuff and leave. She wanted to have a screaming match about what she had found, but I didn’t see any point in it. She refused to leave and I proceeded to use every possible verbal influence I could think of to get her out the door. At one point she tried to give me a hug but I pushed her away. She was sorry for what she had done and realized this might be the end.
I finally got K to exit my room and we didn’t make contact again for quite awhile. I knew I would hear from her again and I was proven right a few weeks later. We talked things over and eventually continued our weekly meetings until K left the country to work overseas. We still keep in touch and I do hope to see her again in the future.
I guess there are a few lessons to be learned from this event. First, if you’re dating more than one girl remember to keep your room clean by removing all evidence as soon as possible. I make a habit of this, but apparently I had overlooked it and got caught. Secondly, try to make sure that your date understands how (less than) serious you are with her. Girls will often assume relationships are further along especially when sex is involved. Thirdly, avoid physical contact when things go bad and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. Nobody wins when things get physical and a foreigner in Thailand is almost always viewed as being in the wrong when the other party is Thai.
My other altercation occurred when I took a short trip down to Pattaya. I had been chatting with a ladyboy named CZ and we planned to meet up for some fun as soon as I got myself settled. CZ told me she worked as a marketing girl for a real estate company there and could take off for an hour during the day to meet me. I gave her a call once I got cleaned up at my hotel and she drove over a few minutes later to pick me up on her motorbike.
We went a short distance before CZ parked down a small side street and showed me into her room. She looked nice and we proceeded to have a good time even though we finished things fairly quickly so CZ could get back to her work. I was getting dressed when CZ asked me if I would do her a favor and go take a tour of the condo project in Jomtien that she was currently promoting. I replied that I had no interest in buying a condo and she said that it didn’t matter; all I had to do was act interested and sit through a 2 hour sales pitch.
I tried to explain to CZ that I really wasn’t looking to buy a condo and I especially didn’t want to spend 2 hours of my short holiday listening to a salesman try to sell me something I didn’t need. That didn’t go over well with CZ. Apparently she felt that I owed her something for having sex with me. I tried my best to convince her that I would go there the next time I came to Pattaya, but she would hear none of it. After calling me a few different names, she left on her motorbike and I eventually found my way back to the hotel.
I was hoping that would be the end of it, but I soon started receiving threatening text messages and phone calls. I was being told what a horrible person I was and how I would soon be dead at the hands of CZ and her friends. I didn’t know what to do. I decided to make the short trip over to Jomtien and at least make it appear like I was doing something. I had planned to visit there at some point and this seemed like the perfect time.
Once I reached Jomtien I called to CZ and asked where the condo project was. She used the opportunity to again inform me of my coming death. I ignored the threat and then handed the phone to a local after asking CZ to give them directions on how to find the place. I figured that would prove I was actually there and maybe take some of the heat off. I have no idea what they talked about and there were no directions to be had when the phone was handed back to me.
I endured a few more hours of text message threats before things started to cool off. I’m confident that I wasn’t the first or last guy to be in that situation with CZ. I didn’t attempt to reply or contact her again. I also made sure to stay away from Beach Road on that trip and I’m fairly certain I was forgotten after a short time.
I’m not sure how I could have avoided this one. I had no clue that CZ was going to ask me to do her a favor and I certainly didn’t expect her reaction when I said no. I guess it just serves to show that you can never be too careful. If you have the time, it’s best to try to get to know someone before things get intimate.
The recent confrontation at my complex has managed to put safety at the front of my mind again and I’m thankful that I have managed to avoid any major conflicts here in Thailand. Over the years I have developed my own methods for learning more about a ladyboy before I see her. Sometimes a girl can be beautiful and sweet, but I end up not meeting her if I feel something is off. I often have to remind myself that I need to take my time and trust my instincts. Dating should be fun and easy, but there are also dangers that require our attention. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think by adding your comments below.